If your relationship is teetering on the brink and you want to pull it back to safety there are some things you can do. It may not be easy, and both of you have to be willing to work together, but it is possible to stop a relationship break up.
Here are some tactics you can keep in mind when trying to repair your relationship:
1. Stop only dwelling on what your partner is doing wrong and start trying to find common ground. It is way too easy to get caught up in the ‘he said, she said’. As long as the two of you are on that particular gerbil wheel you’ll never be able to calmly discuss the real issues in your relationship. It’s time to put away the blame and work together to find solutions.
2. Try to put yourself in their shoes and try to genuinely understand where they are coming from. This isn’t necessarily the same as agreeing with them, but you acknowledge that they have the right to feel the way they feel. There is nothing more important to everyone than to feel they are understood and while neither of you is going to totally get the other one all the time, you need to at least try to see things from their point of view.
If you learn to see something through someone else’s eyes, you will be less likely to get defensive and angry and more likely to see that the two of you really aren’t as far apart as you may have thought.
3. Retrain yourself on ways to communicate with your partner. It’s very easy to fall into certain patterns of behavior without realizing you are doing it, it then becomes one vicious circle. You have to take a step back, both of you, and try to look at the situation more objectively. Then once you’ve honestly evaluated the problems, work together to find solutions.
It’s never too late to try and stop a relationship break up as long as both of you truly want to make things work and are willing to make some changes. I know you hear it all the time, and that’s because it’s true, communication is the key to any good relationship and that is the place you have to start. Learn to talk and listen instead of scream and hear.