What many people may not realize is that it’s just as hard to be the person who is doing the breaking up as it is to be the person who is getting dumped.
Oftentimes the person who has initiated the breakup still cares deeply for their partner and they have the added burden of dealing with the guilt of causing so much pain to someone they love.
For that reason, here are some tips on how to break up relationship that simply doesn’t work for you anymore.
1. You do want to make sure that you don’t break up in the heat of the moment.
It’s important that you take your time and decide for sure if you think that the relationship is past the point of being saved.
If you break up in the middle of a fight you might decide later that you didn’t really want to break up but that you were just mad, and that is not a situation you want to find yourself in.
This is the time to try and take the emotion out of your decision.
One good way to do that is to make a list.
On one side of the page list all the things that you like about your partner and that are good in your relationship. On the other side of the page list the things you don’t like about your partner and /or the relationship.
Once you can see things in black and white it should be easier for you to decide if this relationship has run it’s course.
Of course, if there is any type of abuse involved at all then the relationship absolutely should be ended right away.
2. If you’ve weighed all the pros and cons and you come to the conclusion that you have no choice but to end things you need to find the right way to do it. The right way is not texting, email, or even over the phone.
These are cowardly ways to end a relationship and your soon to be ex deserves better (again, if there is abuse and you are afraid your partner might get violent than that is the exception to the rule).
Meeting face to face with your partner will show them the respect they deserve and it will give you the opportunity to explain to them where you are coming from.
3. When you meet with your partner make sure that you are firm. It is possible that they may try to talk you out of breaking up, but if you’ve gone through step one and have carefully weighed all aspects of your relationship and you’ve determined it’s over, you have to stick to your guns.
This is the point where you can tell your partner why you’ve come to the decision you have.
It’s not about expecting them to understand or agree with you, but it’s just an opportunity to let them know what has happened and why which can allow both of you to get closure so you can move on more quickly.
4. Do not string them along!
Once you’ve broken up with them, don’t talk to them or contact them in any way.
Believe it or not, doing this is actually doing a favor for your ex. The only way they can move on is if they understand that it really is over once and for all. They won’t get the message if you call them or take their calls.
It’s never easy to be the one who has to break up relationship that just isn’t working out.
If you follow these tips you can make the process a little easier on both of you. Just make sure to stick to your resolve and be as gentle as you possibly can.
Also published on Medium.